Why is it, that when everything in your entire being is screaming no, you go and do it anyway? Why, when I have never been able to voice my own feelings, and say no, is it that I finally find myself able to do so!? And why, why start here? I mean what is that I possibly have to gain from taking this step, this huge step!? I know what it is that I have lost, but was it worth it?
For the first time ever, I have put myself out there, vulnerable, open to heartache...open...I have allowed myself to say, this is how I am feeling, now, unable to live in denial, i'm full of all this torment, torment I have never opened myself up to before...
All the time I question my sanity...in putting my faith in knowing that God has his plans and his reasons, and that he will only follow through on these plans in his own time.....but, at the same time knowing that although I may be questioning my sanity (on numerous occasions I would like to point out), I will never question my faith. When did this happen....when did I become this person??..........ARGH!!!
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