A New Chapter....

Life has moved on a lot since I last blogged...mainly moving into London. Finally I've flown the nest. About three months ago now I took fate into my own hands and handed my notice in at Marks and Spencers, with no where to go; the next day the stock market crashed! haha! I know when to pick em' ey!

I struggled to find work for a while, but started looking in London. I didn't have much luck but found a temp job at the London Dungeons over Halloween, i think i got the Job on the Thursday and moved into London and started on the Saturday. I ended up moving into the Generator a hostel in Russell Square. Totally fell in love with the place and yes, unfortunately fell into the Generator trap ;(

The two weeks at the Dungeons sadly flew by, i was front of house, so come rain or shine I was outside talking to people in the queues, and yes it rained, hailed and snowed A LOT!!!!! Got flu for about a month which sucked, but tis' life.

Just before I finished at the Dungeons I got a job at a pub in Chelsea, where I'm now working full time, and then carrying on at the Dungeons on a Saturday.

Through working at the pub, I've now got my own place and am living in Fulham with a couple of guys from work and a few other guys...HELP!!!! I'm living in a bachalor pad :( I've been here for about a month and it's great, but cold (No heating!!!) and it kinda sucks when Chelsea play at home as it's over the road, so the area's gridlocked. :(

Leaving the Generator was hard though, but I go back regularly for the weekends, sad I know, but hey....

Crash and Burn.....

...And it's laughter that I hear when I close my eyes
And it's one more punchline I forgot to learn
I call you up when my bottle's dry
I'm on my way to crash and burn...

...Well, it's laughter that comes up when I cry for you
And my heart may break again before it learns
And I might be stupid enough to want to fall again
Cause I've gotten use to the crash and burn...

Cambodia...

I might be off to Cambodia in January, check it out....

http://www.missiondirect.org/missiondirect/Events0.nsf/LookupUnid/64930CEB0612E0258025745300324113?opendocument

My Army psych profile.....hm......

Being free to explore the world is the freedom you appreciate most. You are not ready to settle in one spot just yet - you want to go see and experience as many cultures as you can. You're someone who will shun routine and, although you may value security, it does not stop you looking for new experiences, travelling without limits. Leading others is something that comes easily to you... you are assertive and happy to make decisions, boldly facing the consequences. You learn best from being in places that give you the knowledge to form your own interpretation. Satisfaction comes from helping others: you're generous, caring and want to make a difference. An employer would value your compassion. In the next few years you want to realise some big dreams - you are going to make a difference, wherever and whichever way you can. It’s good to know you can rely on the unconditional love your best friend gives you. You can trust them to lend a listening ear and support when you need it. Everyone sees you as cool, calm and serene. Your balanced character is definitely an attraction. You can see yourself helping others, sometimes sharing an umbrella is enough... but in the bigger picture you really want to get out there and make a difference. Keeping your head down and conducting self control is the best way for you. You respond to new ideas - education is about enrichment. There’s a part of you that’s keen to escape to un-chartered territory. The mystery of the unknown is appealing to you, and with your inquisitive nature, who knows where your next adventure will lead you?

It seems that you are happy to take control, you enjoy making decisions and discover new things. When you can, you like to escape from your day-to-day routine, grab a little downtime. Maybe you're too busy, or you're bored - whichever it is, you like to switch yourself on standby when you can. Most of the time you and your friends like to drink a bit and fool about. You are a confident, flirty bunch... if a little raucous - you all like to have a laugh and stick together through thick and thin. You like to put the time in and work hard. That said, you have plenty of time for people and communication is your strong point. Given your choices, you seem to appreciate taking time out. You like the opportunity to think, maybe dream a little too...

For the people I've lost...

May our father watch over you...I'll never forget the smiles we shared...

Cuteness...

So, here's my nephew one year on, plus a haircut ;) It's so strange how time goes by so fast! It only feels like yesterday he was being born. He's almost walking and talking, despite the fact we can't understand a word he says, irritating him just as much I would have to guess.

He has the cutest laugh and the strongest grip, Seriously don't get in between him and the keyboard, he likes to type like daddy! Cyber geek already...

The little things hey...

Brain Farts!!!!

Why is it, that when everything in your entire being is screaming no, you go and do it anyway? Why, when I have never been able to voice my own feelings, and say no, is it that I finally find myself able to do so!? And why, why start here? I mean what is that I possibly have to gain from taking this step, this huge step!? I know what it is that I have lost, but was it worth it?

For the first time ever, I have put myself out there, vulnerable, open to heartache...open...I have allowed myself to say, this is how I am feeling, now, unable to live in denial, i'm full of all this torment, torment I have never opened myself up to before...

All the time I question my sanity...in putting my faith in knowing that God has his plans and his reasons, and that he will only follow through on these plans in his own time.....but, at the same time knowing that although I may be questioning my sanity (on numerous occasions I would like to point out), I will never question my faith. When did this happen....when did I become this person??..........ARGH!!!

Rainbow

Cannot believe that I was allowed to watch this as a child!!! How did they get away with this lol...

Te Busque

I've been high, I've been low
I've been fast, I've been slow
I've had nowhere to go
Missed the bus, missed the show
I've been down on my luck
I've felt like giving up
My life locked in a trunk
When it hurt way too much
I needed a reason to live
Some love inside me to give
I couldn't rest I had to keep on searching

Te busque debajo de las piedras y no te encontre
En la manana fria y en la noche te busquer
Hasta enloquecer
Pero tú llegaste a mi vida como una luz
Sanando las heridas de mi corazon
Haciéndome sentir vivo otra vez

I've been too sad to speak and too tired to eat
Been too lonely to sing, devil cut off my wings
I've been hurt by my past but I feel the future
In my dreams and it lasts I wake up I'm not sure
I wanted to find the light something just didn't feel right
I needed an answer to end all my searching

Te busque debajo de las piedras y no te encontre
En la manana fria y en la noche te busquer
Hasta enloquecer
Pero tú llegaste a mi vida como una luz
Sanando las heridas de mi corazon
Haciéndome sentir vivo otra vez

I look in the mirror the picture's getting clearer
I wanna be myself but does the world really need her
I ache for this earth
I stopped going to church
See God in the trees makes me fall to my knees
My depression keeps building like a cup overfilling
My heart so rigid I keep it in the frigid
It hurts so bad that I can't dry my eyes
cause' they keep on refilling
with the tears that I cry

Te busque debajo de las piedras y no te encontre
En la manana fria y en la noche te busquer
Hasta enloquecer
Pero tú llegaste a mi vida como una luz
Sanando las heridas de mi corazon
Haciéndome sentir vivo otra vez

Te busque debajo de las piedras y no te encontre
En la manana fria y en la noche te busquer
Hasta enloquecer
Pero tú llegaste a mi vida como una luz
Sanando las heridas de mi corazon
Haciéndome sentir vivo otra vez

Te busque debajo de las piedras y no te encontre
En la manana fria y en la noche te busquer
Hasta enloquecer
Pero tú llegaste a mi vida como una luz
Sanando las heridas de mi corazon
Haciéndome sentir vivo otra vez

The latest update

I figured that after a few comments it was probably about time that i briefly updated you all on the last few chapters of my life, and possibilities for the next, plus i would love to hear yours in return...If people want more info, you know where to find me.

I'll start sort of middle of last year when i was blessed with a job caring for a girl with Bipolar disorder. I have never been so challenged in my life to date!! I was looking after a girl that just been released from the local psych ward for kids, and I was told I was to get her out and about and to make sure she had taken her meds, boy was that not even half of it! lol. As hard as it was it opened me up to God on so many new levels.

From there I went on to spend the summer working at various christian festivals with the charity Mission Direct, a former part of mercy ships which most of you would know as mission challenge. Which as amazing as it was it broke my heart knowing that it was something God hasn't got planned for me at the minute :( But guiding people planning to take that step for themselves was amazing. The days were EXTREMELY long and i never realised how tiring prayer was lol, but God really blessed me by showing his plans for people, a blessing I was so pleased to get back!!!!

Before starting my christmas job I spent a lot of time helping my sister out with my nephew, who turned one last Saturday. What can I say i now have a valid unpathetic excuse to play with kids toys and to carry on entertaining the child within that i've always been lol.

Over Christmas I started working in retail for Marks and Spencers (for those of you who know what i'm talking about). All I can say is, I never thought that I would be seeing people stoop so low, but nevertheless I've been working there ever since.

Sadly the new year was filled with sadness as I lost two friends that had meant a lot to me in previous chapters of my life. My heart still breaks, but they are with our father, which is comforting.I think after Pete died so suddenly, I was ready to go on my first proper holiday in 3 years! I went backpacking up the west coast of the states, stopping over in LA, Vegas, San Francisco, Seattle and Vancouver, making friends along the way. I've also just got back from another trip I took to Italy.

These time outs have cleared my head and i'm now pushing doors to something that God has strongly placed on my heart. If God has opened these doors for me, I don't know where this will take me, but I know that for the next 6 years of my life it will definately be an interesting journey! So please keep me in your prayers.

Anyways, many blessings, Sarah x x

Why men don't write advice columns!

Dear Walter:
I hope you can help me here. The other day I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't gone more than a mile down the road when my engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's help. When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in the bedroom with a neighbour lady making mad passionate love to her. I am 32, my husband is 34 and we have been married for twelve years. When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted that he'd been having an affair for the past six months.
I told him to stop or I would leave him. He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. I don't feel I can get through to him anymore.
Can you please help?
Sincerely,
Mrs.. Sheila Usk


Dear Sheila:
A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the jubilee clips holding the vacuum pipes onto the inlet manifold. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the carburettor float chamber.
I hope this helps.
Walter

Venice!

So i'm on my third and almost last day in venice. Oh I'm in Venice btw! I booked time off to go somewhere with this guy I met in LA but he went home early so booked the cheapest flight to anywhere, so yeah...Time here has been sweet. I've done the touristy must haves and chilled out on the beach, a world away from the endurance required back home ;( I've made new friends and plenty of memories, and am actually quite sad to leave tomorrow night.

Saying that though, I wouldn't actually mind getting back to where I can understand the language! A lover of chit chat doesn't fair so well when only knowing a few words. But hey....I can learn!

Hope all are well, blessings x x